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Although tuning a guitar can be easy (if you have ears, neither of which is made of tin), it was made even easier for those looking for a quick way to tune by the emergence of electronic tuning devices a couple of decades ago. Nevertheless, I have always subscribed to the philosophy of tuning my instruments by ear. I have employed, occasionally, a tuning fork for a place to start, but this method is affected by weather and other conditions.

While I watched the world at large using tuners, I kept tuning by feel as I heard a lot of soul going out of the music people were producing. But since touring was getting heavy and I was taking an electric 12 string guitar with me, I finally got one of the bigger, more expensive electronic tuners to use. I did this not for the same reasons as other musicians, but in case I broke a string on stage and someone else wanted a quick way to get the thang in tune. I recently began using it as a starting point for tuning when I record, but I didn’t use it on the earlier Sprague Brothers records, which would explain why not all the songs would be in tune with each other. Now, though, they probably would be.

I still tune by ear but just use that tuner thingamabob to get a starting point much like I would with that there tuning fork.

There has recently been a new geetar invented by Gibson that takes the whole kooky concept of tuning to a new level. The “Robot” guitar (aptly named) is a self-tuning guitar! Yikes! This must be a dream for soulless music players. I can’t imagine having an instrument that tunes itself. Maybe they should call it the Terminator guitar. Why not just invent a “Player Guitar” like the old player pianos where you not only don’t have to tune it, but you don’t have to play it.

Tuning is an art, not just for guitar but also for piano. I tune my own piano and it is much more complicated than tuning a guitar. There is the self-tuning piano of course--the synthesizer. But I digress.

This Gibson guitar has a computer in it! Double yikes!!! Is there anything a guitar won’t be able to do? I don’t think there is anything wrong with getting e-mail on your guitar but what notes do you have to play to send a reply?

I will wait for the guitar/microwave so I can play the song “Popcorn” on the guitar and have it make some nice microwave popcorn at the same time. There should be a butter dispenser (like the guitar pick dispensers they already sell that jackasses tape on their mic stands) installed that is worked by using the whammy bar (tremolo) and then you could use that to keep your fingers buttered up as you play.

OK, I’m gettin' hungry for some popcorn and since it’s now baseball season, I’m gonna run on down to the store.

Party on.

Go to: Frank Lee Sprague