Alan Haber: 2004 TV season report. buhdge

television buhdge the tube, revisited

"Someone should translate the idea of 15 minutes of fame into a reality show. Now, that kind of thing I would watch, as long as the briefly-famous person went right back into obscurity immediately after his or her segment."-Alan Haber

Boob tube, or just plain boob? Alan Haber looks at the 2004-2005 television season, already in progress It's not funny, what they've done to television, but what are we going to do about it? Keep watching, is my guess, against our better judgment. The 2004-2005 season, now in its third month, give or take, is no better or worse than seasons past. But, with so many entertainment (be careful how you use that word at home, kids) choices available these days, the depressing state of television programming is becoming more evident than Ashlee Simpson lip-synching on Saturday Night Live or Janet Jack's wardrobe misfunctions. If you are a fan of reality shows, I apologize in advance for pissing you off. I'm not a fan, although I was at least interested when reality TV meant Survivor and that was pretty much it. Interesting idea, to throw everyday normal folks into interesting situations and see how it all plays out. But that idea has regressed so far south that almost every reality "concept" is no more sophisticated than any episode of the Jerry Springer Show. You east coasters may remember the bullying tactics of Morton Downey, Jr., who was quite the character back in the day, a tempest in his own teapot, forcing the issue when perhaps there wasn't one, creating theater that was so well lampooned by Chris Elliott on the David Letterman Show (although I don't believe Downey ever picked sores off his face and flicked them at his audience, as Elliott did during one of his Downey bits). It wasn't particularly sophisticated, but it was theater, and fascinating, at that. Shows like The Amazing Race and The Apprentice approach reality TV from a non-sensational tack, or at least that's my observation. Pitiful exercises like My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss and The Swan are just ideas transplanted from daytime TV, freak shows intended to titillate and humiliate the people who appear on them. Shows like Queer Eye for the Straight Guy are more my reality speed: Queer Eye, in particular, seems honest and forthright, with real, natural personalities trying to do something nice for people. Ditto home makeover shows like TLC's While You Were Out and Trading Spaces. There isn't a whole lot of nice on TV. Even when the goal is to be nice, it often comes off horribly rotten. But I've already talked about reality shows. Is there anything else on the tube these days? Certainly, finding scripted shows of value is becoming harder and harder every TV season. Of the scripted shows on my must-see list...well, there aren't many, I'm afraid. I love The Sopranos, but that's not coming back to HBO until spring 2006 (and the fifth season DVD set isn't coming out until just before then). I've written elsewhere on buhdge about Monk, so I won't venture into that potential mind field here, although I am somewhat hopeful of the new season that will begin on USA in late January. I've sampled HBO's Deadwood, but that just seems to me to be an excuse to have Western characters curse their brains out amidst a gorgeous production design. I kind of like Fox's House, which features the most unlikable, yet likeable, character on TV this or any recent season. And get this: he's a doctor! With a lousy bedside manner! Call your HMO, stat! I watched some of the WB's Jack and Bobby, and disagree with the many critics that said they thought the flash forwards into the political future of the one who would be president were intrusive and disruptive. That's the part of the show that interested me the most; otherwise, you're looking at yet another show targeted to teens that teens will lose interest in, and look at the ratings, ma--they've already moved the damned thing to another night. Yes, it's already on life support. And from one of the visionaries of The West Wing, yet. Speaking of which, is it time to turn out the lights on that once great show? If ever there were an example of a creative entity that was the singular vision of one creative mind that should never be run by anyone but said creative mind, this is it. I've spoken to a co-worker about this more times than I can count, and I think he's finally coming around to my way of thinking: Wing is wrong without Aaron Sorkin, who created and wrote the show for four straight years, and that's just about that. All of a sudden, under the sole leadership of John Wells, who never met a situation he couldn't exploit or a tank or helicopter he couldn't destroy in fantastic fashion (remember Rocket Romano being crushed by a falling 'copter on ER?), the main characters are acting like some kind of drug-induced versions of themselves. Just about everything that happens on Wing these days makes little or no sense. Okay, Leo finally had the heart attack that's been threatening to, uh, wing him for years. He had it at Camp David, alone, out in the woods. It was a massive, hey-give-me-an-Emmy headache, which we knew to be the case because actor John Spencer's facial expressions said so (or was he reacting to recent scripts?). He lay in the woods overnight, by the way, until someone finally found him. Sorry, but I have a hard time believing that a wounded cockroach wouldn't be found in two seconds flat at Camp David. Come to think of it, a cockroach might be treated better than the humans on this show. Let's see, there's Donna Moss, Josh Lyman's assistant, who is in love with Josh, and Josh, who is in love with Donna, or is he and are they? Hmmm...after all of that hand holding and goo, goo, googly eyeballing after Donna's near-death experience at the end of last season--Josh did rush to Donna's sick bed in Germany, after all--the are-they-or-are-they-not-in-love-with-each-other poster children are back to business, meaning Josh treats Donna like crap and Donna takes it. Ugh. And then there's CJ. Poor Claudia Jean Cregg--White House Press Secretary one day, and Chief of Staff the next, treating her friends like you-could-be-fired-any-minute-for-any-reason underlings as if she had never fallen into her built-in pool back when Toby visited her in California to ask her to join the Bartlett campaign, for only about $500,000 less than she was making in public relations (okay, she had just been fired, but still). It's a bone-headed move bumping CJ up the ladder--alright, a woman as Chief of Staff is a good idea, but CJ is the wrong person for this job. She's continually been kept out of the loop on various issues, and taken to task by Leo and Toby for being too chummy with the press and saying the wrong thing on an occasion or two. More ugh. Wells is retooling this show to attract younger viewers, no doubt about it. He's also looking to attract a larger female audience, so expect Jimmy Smits's pecs (Smits plays a Texas senator who throws his hat into the I-want-to-be-President ring) to make their first on-camera appearance sometime soon. No, Alan Alda, who joins the cast this coming Wednesday, will not become the next president, and neither will current vice president Bingo Bob, or ex-vice president John Hoynes, or the guy who runs the corner gas station. It's Smits in 2005, baby! Strike up the band! Whereas Sorkin's scripts were always thoughtful and thought-provoking, and events transpiring within them took place naturally, the scripts whipped into production during Wells's tenure have been choppy and not very well thought out. And things seem to happen for no other reason than to shock: why, just this past week, President Bartlett revealed that he had been blind in one eye for two whole days, and no one noticed. Huh? Get that man an eye exam. Stat! (Oh, that's another show.) Now, to be fair, Wells is doing a great job over at his other NBC show, Third Watch (please don't make me tell you how lousy ER, also his show, is these days) . Third Watch has completely retooled itself from a boring cop/rescue show to a riveting, skeletons-in-every-closet, good versus evil show, with great storylines (the one centering around the Internal Affairs plant in the squad has been particularly riveting) and acting from the cast. This is must-see TV, pure and simple. So, likely, will be the new seasons of 24 and Alias, which debut in early January. 24, with its whole new cast and storyline (a secret so far, although a short prequel feature on the third season DVD set, out this coming week, will help fans slide into season four with some clues) should be a treat. And Alias, which will benefit from its powerhouse lead in, Lost, on Wednesday nights, should be equally kick-ass. (Speaking of Lost--the show kind of loses me. I dunno...nothing ever seems to happen, although the characters are interesting and there does seem to be something big in the offing, although only the creators--Alias's J.J. Abrams among them--know for sure. Also lost on me is the other big show of the season, Desperate Housewives; other than a showcase for hot-looking babes, is there a reason for this show to exist?) By the way, expect to see lots of ad time on Alias directing viewers to star Jennifer Garner's Elektra movie, opening on January 14. Cross-promotion, always a good thing. Anything else cooking on the tube this season? Nah, that's about it. Other than what I've already mentioned, it's been business as usual. And, as usual, the most interesting offerings come from cable channels like Sundance, which recently aired the wonderful film about record producer Tom Dowd. Also, kudos to Showtime for airing the Brian Wilson doc, Beautiful Dreamer. And kudos to you for hanging in there and holding hope that TV will get better. Don't count against the tube, but also, don't bet on it. Nevertheless, always keep a deck of playing cards close at hand. December 4, 2004
alan haber's pure pop buhdgeblog hot buhdge \| pop buhdge \| buhdge remembers television buhdge \| film buhdge \| books buhdge video buhdge \| buhdge fine print \| links about buhdge \| write for buhdge \| contact home (c) 2004 Alan Haber

Boob tube, or just plain boob?
Alan Haber looks at the 2004-2005 television season, already in progress

It's not funny, what they've done to television, but what are we going to do about it? Keep watching, is my guess, against our better judgment.

The 2004-2005 season, now in its third month, give or take, is no better or worse than seasons past. But, with so many entertainment (be careful how you use that word at home, kids) choices available these days, the depressing state of television programming is becoming more evident than Ashlee Simpson lip-synching on Saturday Night Live or Janet Jack's wardrobe misfunctions.

If you are a fan of reality shows, I apologize in advance for pissing you off. I'm not a fan, although I was at least interested when reality TV meant Survivor and that was pretty much it. Interesting idea, to throw everyday normal folks into interesting situations and see how it all plays out. But that idea has regressed so far south that almost every reality "concept" is no more sophisticated than any episode of the Jerry Springer Show. You east coasters may remember the bullying tactics of Morton Downey, Jr., who was quite the character back in the day, a tempest in his own teapot, forcing the issue when perhaps there wasn't one, creating theater that was so well lampooned by Chris Elliott on the David Letterman Show (although I don't believe Downey ever picked sores off his face and flicked them at his audience, as Elliott did during one of his Downey bits). It wasn't particularly sophisticated, but it was theater, and fascinating, at that.

Shows like The Amazing Race and The Apprentice approach reality TV from a non-sensational tack, or at least that's my observation. Pitiful exercises like My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss and The Swan are just ideas transplanted from daytime TV, freak shows intended to titillate and humiliate the people who appear on them. Shows like Queer Eye for the Straight Guy are more my reality speed: Queer Eye, in particular, seems honest and forthright, with real, natural personalities trying to do something nice for people. Ditto home makeover shows like TLC's While You Were Out and Trading Spaces.

There isn't a whole lot of nice on TV. Even when the goal is to be nice, it often comes off horribly rotten. But I've already talked about reality shows. Is there anything else on the tube these days?

Certainly, finding scripted shows of value is becoming harder and harder every TV season. Of the scripted shows on my must-see list...well, there aren't many, I'm afraid. I love The Sopranos, but that's not coming back to HBO until spring 2006 (and the fifth season DVD set isn't coming out until just before then). I've written elsewhere on buhdge about Monk, so I won't venture into that potential mind field here, although I am somewhat hopeful of the new season that will begin on USA in late January. I've sampled HBO's Deadwood, but that just seems to me to be an excuse to have Western characters curse their brains out amidst a gorgeous production design. I kind of like Fox's House, which features the most unlikable, yet likeable, character on TV this or any recent season. And get this: he's a doctor! With a lousy bedside manner! Call your HMO, stat!

I watched some of the WB's Jack and Bobby, and disagree with the many critics that said they thought the flash forwards into the political future of the one who would be president were intrusive and disruptive. That's the part of the show that interested me the most; otherwise, you're looking at yet another show targeted to teens that teens will lose interest in, and look at the ratings, ma--they've already moved the damned thing to another night. Yes, it's already on life support. And from one of the visionaries of The West Wing, yet.

Speaking of which, is it time to turn out the lights on that once great show? If ever there were an example of a creative entity that was the singular vision of one creative mind that should never be run by anyone but said creative mind, this is it. I've spoken to a co-worker about this more times than I can count, and I think he's finally coming around to my way of thinking: Wing is wrong without Aaron Sorkin, who created and wrote the show for four straight years, and that's just about that. All of a sudden, under the sole leadership of John Wells, who never met a situation he couldn't exploit or a tank or helicopter he couldn't destroy in fantastic fashion (remember Rocket Romano being crushed by a falling 'copter on ER?), the main characters are acting like some kind of drug-induced versions of themselves.

Just about everything that happens on Wing these days makes little or no sense. Okay, Leo finally had the heart attack that's been threatening to, uh, wing him for years. He had it at Camp David, alone, out in the woods. It was a massive, hey-give-me-an-Emmy headache, which we knew to be the case because actor John Spencer's facial expressions said so (or was he reacting to recent scripts?). He lay in the woods overnight, by the way, until someone finally found him. Sorry, but I have a hard time believing that a wounded cockroach wouldn't be found in two seconds flat at Camp David. Come to think of it, a cockroach might be treated better than the humans on this show.

Let's see, there's Donna Moss, Josh Lyman's assistant, who is in love with Josh, and Josh, who is in love with Donna, or is he and are they? Hmmm...after all of that hand holding and goo, goo, googly eyeballing after Donna's near-death experience at the end of last season--Josh did rush to Donna's sick bed in Germany, after all--the are-they-or-are-they-not-in-love-with-each-other poster children are back to business, meaning Josh treats Donna like crap and Donna takes it. Ugh.

And then there's CJ. Poor Claudia Jean Cregg--White House Press Secretary one day, and Chief of Staff the next, treating her friends like you-could-be-fired-any-minute-for-any-reason underlings as if she had never fallen into her built-in pool back when Toby visited her in California to ask her to join the Bartlett campaign, for only about $500,000 less than she was making in public relations (okay, she had just been fired, but still). It's a bone-headed move bumping CJ up the ladder--alright, a woman as Chief of Staff is a good idea, but CJ is the wrong person for this job. She's continually been kept out of the loop on various issues, and taken to task by Leo and Toby for being too chummy with the press and saying the wrong thing on an occasion or two. More ugh.

Wells is retooling this show to attract younger viewers, no doubt about it. He's also looking to attract a larger female audience, so expect Jimmy Smits's pecs (Smits plays a Texas senator who throws his hat into the I-want-to-be-President ring) to make their first on-camera appearance sometime soon. No, Alan Alda, who joins the cast this coming Wednesday, will not become the next president, and neither will current vice president Bingo Bob, or ex-vice president John Hoynes, or the guy who runs the corner gas station. It's Smits in 2005, baby! Strike up the band!

Whereas Sorkin's scripts were always thoughtful and thought-provoking, and events transpiring within them took place naturally, the scripts whipped into production during Wells's tenure have been choppy and not very well thought out. And things seem to happen for no other reason than to shock: why, just this past week, President Bartlett revealed that he had been blind in one eye for two whole days, and no one noticed. Huh? Get that man an eye exam. Stat! (Oh, that's another show.)

Now, to be fair, Wells is doing a great job over at his other NBC show, Third Watch (please don't make me tell you how lousy ER, also his show, is these days) . Third Watch has completely retooled itself from a boring cop/rescue show to a riveting, skeletons-in-every-closet, good versus evil show, with great storylines (the one centering around the Internal Affairs plant in the squad has been particularly riveting) and acting from the cast. This is must-see TV, pure and simple.

So, likely, will be the new seasons of 24 and Alias, which debut in early January. 24, with its whole new cast and storyline (a secret so far, although a short prequel feature on the third season DVD set, out this coming week, will help fans slide into season four with some clues) should be a treat. And Alias, which will benefit from its powerhouse lead in, Lost, on Wednesday nights, should be equally kick-ass. (Speaking of Lost--the show kind of loses me. I dunno...nothing ever seems to happen, although the characters are interesting and there does seem to be something big in the offing, although only the creators--Alias's J.J. Abrams among them--know for sure. Also lost on me is the other big show of the season, Desperate Housewives; other than a showcase for hot-looking babes, is there a reason for this show to exist?) By the way, expect to see lots of ad time on Alias directing viewers to star Jennifer Garner's Elektra movie, opening on January 14. Cross-promotion, always a good thing.

Anything else cooking on the tube this season? Nah, that's about it. Other than what I've already mentioned, it's been business as usual. And, as usual, the most interesting offerings come from cable channels like Sundance, which recently aired the wonderful film about record producer Tom Dowd. Also, kudos to Showtime for airing the Brian Wilson doc, Beautiful Dreamer.

And kudos to you for hanging in there and holding hope that TV will get better. Don't count against the tube, but also, don't bet on it. Nevertheless, always keep a deck of playing cards close at hand.

December 4, 2004